Most of you will probably know me as Justin the guy who posts a blog now and then right? Well there's a lot more to me than that but I won’t go too in depth. I will say though, in late 2005 when I was at St John an amazing girl joined the division. I didn’t really talk to this wonderful girl called Kathryn and to be perfectly honest with you all, I just thought “a new cadet nothing special” but November 2006 came and I really started to like her and I mean like like.
After I discovered I had feelings for Kathryn I was lucky enough to go on a leadership course with her in January 2007. Meaning a weekend away together. So this weekend came and I got know Kathryn a lot better and my feelings grew even more. I was scared to talk at first because I didn't want her to not like me I was scared of what she would think of me and I can remember what my thoughts were... "What if she doesn't like the real me," "what if she decides she doesn't want to be with me once she knows me better." I got talking to Kathryn for quite a while on and off over the
weekend and realized what type of a person she was... friendly, caring, loving, gentle, funny, amazing, respectable, unique - just to name a few of the words to describe her. I really wanted to ask her to be my girlfriend bearing in mind I was 13 years old at this point and this was the first time we talked properly. Another reason for this was because of two other cadets on the course. Dan used to be, my best friend he seemed to be the one who was more outgoing and did everything and I thought Kathryn would prefer him so much more than me. But there was also Tom who Kathryn really got on with and seemed to like.But did that stop me? No it didn't ;) Me and Kathryn eventually got together on the 4th February 2007. I really didn’t think she would say yes because there was a rumour about me fancying another girl on a trip to Belgium I went to. I used this in a way to see if Kathryn had the same feelings for me and when I asked her out I felt what a plank. She will never go out with you but when she replied and told me she would I felt something click everything was suddenly so right.
The truth is, Kathryn isn't like most girls and she has never been a shallow person. She is the most outgoing person I have ever met and will accept anyone who shows her respect. This is one of the many reasons I love her.
I will never ever forget my first day with Kathryn; it was the day my life changed. The day I became aware of what I wanted in life, the day I woke up and decided to do something for myself for a change... the day I fell in love.
Me and Kathryn have been through a lot of hassle over the past few months and I can honestly say it was one of the most upsetting times of my life. I felt like I needed her, I felt like I had to have her, but I knew we could be happy someday together and I held onto that.
Kathryn has changed my life. From the moment I asked her to be with me on the 4th February 2006, I have felt like the real me. I feel I can be true to myself and others around me. I'm no longer ashamed of whom I am and I honestly do feel loved and if anyone else can truly say they "feel" loved then they will know just how amazing it is.
Why the hell are you posting this Justin?
Well... I just want the whole world to know just how much I love this girl. She means the absolute
world to me and always has done. She has changed me into the real person I am. A better person. She has made me realize what love is and how amazing that feeling is and she has proven to me that she would do anything and the feeling is mutual.I would lay down my life for this girl. I would die for her. I would take a bullet for her. I would get stabbed 500000000 times in the heart if it meant just one more kiss. I have never ever felt like this in my life. It is the most amazing feeling and I know I have already said it but it’s true. It’s so bloody amazing!
I know I’ve hurt her a few times and I’m so sorry. I know I’m the easiest person to put up with and I don’t let my feelings out. I will always love her though and no matter how much we argue i’ll always love and be there for her. I’m sorry for all the pain and hurt I’ve caused if I could back in time I would and change it all. But some of the things have brought us so much closer and I love you.
The truth of the matter is, I have been with Kathryn for 15 months and 20 days today and they have been the best 15 months and 20 days of my life and I AM going to be with her forever no matter what anyone says. We are not just for now... we are forever.
You can’t choose who you fall in love with. You just fall in love and when you’re in there's no way of getting out and to be honest, you won’t want to. I just want everyone to know that if you want to achieve something in life and do something... GO FOR IT! Don't let anything pull you back. Everyone deserves to be happy and LOVE is the most amazing feeling in the world.
I'll never forget the first kiss I had with you, the first time we held hands, our first picture together and the way you cuddle up to me when we’re together. :)
